You would have received or seen some questions we put up to help you during your dance cards, here are some more to help you along:

One of Many Keys: Ask yourself the question - What did the person say? (Not what does he/she mean?) The first question is descriptive or factual in the sense of telling you, the listener, something. The second question which you the listener asks, has to do with interpretation. When you listen, be careful about interpreting because you are supposed to be listening to what is being said. Seek for the meaning or the interpretation from the speaker not your own voice in your head or heart. The old fashioned written Chinese character for listen, treats the speaker as a KING.

Example:

WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE ON STARTING THE BUSINESS YOU OWN AND RUN TODAY?
Purpose: find out the important elements or factors (what drove the owner) in deciding to start their business, because this would likely be the value close to the heart of the owner. How can we refer or speak on someone's behalf when we do not know? A(nswers) S(upply) K(nowledge), and clarify. ASK, ASK, ASK . . . LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

One possible response, "I do not believe that a salaried job is secure and decided that I should look into building a source of income over which I have control."

Q: What is the speaker's view of ALL (implied which you should clarify, if it is ALL) salaried work?

A (based on what is said and not what you think or feel is said): Not secure and no control over source of income.

Q (how did the speaker arrive at this conclusion): You may ask, "In what way is non-salaried work secure?" In looking for security and control over the source of income, what else did you consider other than your present business?

A: I looked at giving tuition both web-based and in person, on-demand printing, specialising in bringing groups of seniors on personalised tours, renting out my study room, installing web cams, digital embroidery . . . .

Q: How does running your own business give you control over the source of income?

PURPOSE:
What does the answer to question 1 add to (1) my business, (2) personal life, and (3) my ability to effectively refer the speaker to someone else?
Perhaps that this owner places a premium on delivering high quality products or services in order to maintain control over the income stream. Maybe it is in providing good after sales support. Whatever, it is, it does not matter, the main thing is to KNOW the person with whom you are speaking so that you can make an intelligent refer and in the process, also learn how to adapt his or her ideas to your own business or personal life.